Page Title

Fear
Fear and anxiety in children: What’s normal, and what’s not
In a young child’s world, so much is new and unfamiliar. When you consider a toddler’s inexperience, coupled with their limited reasoning skills, it’s easy to understand why a toddler might react in fear to a host of benign, everyday things.
But what if that fearfulness remains as your child grows older? How can you tell if your child’s apprehensiveness is normal, or something to be concerned about?
First of all, rest assured that the vast majority of children wrestle with a least a few fears at any given age. Whether a child is two, twelve or sixteen years old, it would be unusual for him or her to be “fear-free.”
As a child matures, old fears are overcome, and new fears arise to take their place. Interestingly, children of similar ages tend to share similar types of fears.
Some common fears in children according to age group:
Infants and toddlers – fear of separation from parent, strangers, loud noises, imposing objects
Ages 2-4 – fear of separation from parent, dogs and/or large animals, darkness, sleeping alone, monsters, loud and/or unfamiliar noises, burglers
Ages 5-6 – separation from parent, dogs, darkness, sleeping alone, monsters, bugs, strangers, getting lost, thunder, injury, illness, death
Ages 7-12 – dogs, school issues, performance anxiety, social anxiety, fires, heights, darkness, thunderstorms, burglars, kidnappers, injury, illness, death, natural disasters, nuclear war
Teens – school issues, performance anxiety, social anxiety, personal future, natural disasters, nuclear war
Some children are naturally more fearful than others. If your child’s fear is usually fleeting and, once comforted, he or she is soon able to return to normal activities again, there is no reason to suspect that your child is excessively fearful.
If you are still concerned that your child seems unusually anxious, however, you may want to consider whether your child exhibits some of the characteristics in the list below. If you have any doubts at all, you should seek professional advice.
Some possible signs of unusually high levels of anxiety include:
•Resolute avoidance of specific situations or places (that similar-aged children have no problem with)
•Resists separation from parent; often seeks reassurance or is clingy
•Persistent fears that most children of the same age have already grown out of
•Difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep
•Frequent nightmares
•Frequent stomach aches and/or headaches
•Fidgety or restless; often chews fingernails, toys with hair or sucks thumb
•Excessive shyness
•Resistant to change – for example, reacts negatively to changes in schedule, or insists on wearing specific clothing, or not eating/only eating certain foods
•Is unusually fearful of germs or of becoming ill
•Performs repetitive actions such as hand washing, checking door locks or belongings over and over, or has recurring disturbing thoughts
•    Seems unable to recover from major life changes such as moving home, changing schools, loss of a pet
•Often worries that a “bad guy” might break in or try to hurt someone
•Tends to be bossy or seems determined to control other family members
•Panics for no obvious reason
•Is easily overwhelmed by challenges; gives up easily
•Exhibits negative and catastrophic thinking – imagines and expects the worst possible outcome
•Worries excessively about performance in tests or that completed assignments may not be good enough
•Or on the other hand, may be inexplicably underachieving in school or resistant to doing schoolwork
•Has difficulty making friends or participating in group activities
•One or both parents tend to be anxious
Symptoms of true anxiety disorders don’t usually show up before the age of six years old. One of the most definitive signs of an anxiety disorder is an excessive, irrational fear or dread that lasts for at least six months, and that significantly interferes with a child’s enjoyment of life at school and at home.
Some common anxiety disorders in children include:
Separation Anxiety Disorder – extreme reluctance to leave home, parents or caregiver
Generalized Anxiety Disorder – excessive worrying about everyday issues
Specific Phobias – overwhelming irrational fear of specific things or situations; some very common phobias in children are phobias of dogs, water, storms and lightening, bugs, heights
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – repetitive behaviour carried out to relieve anxiety, such as frequent hand washing
Some common anxiety disorders in adolescents include:
Social Anxiety Disorder – extreme fear of being embarrassed in front of peers
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Specific Phobias
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Panic Disorder – unexpected and repeated panic attacks
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – following a traumatic event such as a car accident: avoidance, detachment, difficulty sleeping and concentrating, depression, constantly “reliving” the event
Summary
•Sometimes children are afraid of situations or objects that adults don’t find threatening.
•Making fun of the child or forcing them to confront their fear will only make things worse.
•You can help your child by taking their fears seriously and encouraging them to talk about their feelingr child by taking their fears seriously and encouraging them to talk about their feelings.
The fearful child
Some children are more fearful than others. Contributing factors may include:
•Genetic susceptibility – some children are generally more sensitive and emotional in their temperament
•At least one anxious parent – children learn how to behave from watching their parents
•Overprotective parenting – a dependent child is more likely to feel helpless and this can lead to generalised anxiety
•Stressful events – such as parental separation, an injury or hospital stay.
Common fears for babies
Once a baby has reached six or seven months of age, they have formed strong attachments to their parents or caregivers. Separation from their ‘special people’, even for short periods of time, can cause considerable anxiety and plenty of crying. Similarly, many babies prefer the exclusive company of their special people so much that they develop a fear of strangers for a while. Babies grow out of this phase with time.
Common fears for toddlers
Children aged around two to three years are only just starting to learn how to cope with their strong feelings, such as anger. A common fear for a toddler is that they will be overwhelmed by powerful emotions.
Toddlers have a limited understanding of size and may develop seemingly irrational fears, such as falling down the plughole or toilet.
Common fears for children of primary school age
As a child learns more about the world, the list of things they fear tends to grow. Some fears are real and some are imaginary. Common fears include fear of the dark, burglary, war, death, separation or divorce of their parents, and supernatural beings (such as ghosts and monsters).
Understanding Childhood Fears and Anxieties
My child seems to be afraid of a lot of things. Should I be worried?
From time to time, every child experiences fear. As youngsters explore the world around them, having new experiences and confronting new challenges, anxieties are almost an unavoidable part of growing up.
Fears are Common:
According to one study, 43% of children between ages 6 and 12 had many fears and concerns. A fear of darkness, particularly being left alone in the dark, is one of the most common fears in this age group. So is a fear of animals, such as large barking dogs. Some children are afraid of fires, high places or thunderstorms. Others, conscious of news reports on TV and in the newspapers, are concerned about burglars, kidnappers or nuclear war. If there has been a recent serious illness or death in the family, they may become anxious about the health of those around them.
In middle childhood, fears wax and wane. Most are mild, but even when they intensify, they generally subside on their own after a while.
About Phobias:
Sometimes fears can become so extreme, persistent and focused that they develop into phobias. Phobias – which are strong and irrational fears – can become persistent and debilitating, significantly influencing and interfering with a child’s usual daily activities. For instance, a 6-year-old’s phobia about dogs might make him so panicky that he refuses to go outdoors at all because there could be a dog there. A 10-year-old child might become so terrified about news reports of a serial killer that he insists on sleeping with his parents at night.
Some children in this age group develop phobias about the people they meet in their everyday lives. This severe shyness can keep them from making friends at school and relating to most adults, especially strangers. They might consciously avoid social situations like birthday parties or Scout meetings, and they often find it difficult to converse comfortably with anyone except their immediate family.
Separation anxiety is also common in this age group. Sometimes this fear can intensify when the family moves to a new neighborhood or children are placed in a childcare setting where they feel uncomfortable. These youngsters might become afraid of going to summer camp or even attending school. Their phobias can cause physical symptoms like headaches or stomach pains and eventually lead the children to withdraw into their own world, becoming clinically depressed.
At about age 6 or 7, as children develop an understanding about death, another fear can arise. With the recognition that death will eventually affect everyone, and that it is permanent and irreversible, the normal worry about the possible death of family members – or even their own death – can intensify. In some cases, this preoccupation with death can become disabling.
Fears of an Infant or Toddler
•Loud noises or sudden movements
•Large looming objects
•Strangers
•Separation
•Changes in the house
Fears During Preschool Years
•The dark
•Noises at night
•Masks
•Monsters and ghosts
•Animals such as dogs
Fears During School Years
•Snakes and spiders
•Storms and natural disasters
•Being home alone
•Fear of a teacher who’s angry
•Scary news or TV shows
•Injury, illness, doctors, shots, or death
•Fear of failure and rejection